Too often we give ourselves a really hard time. Clients frequently tell me that they’re lazy or unmotivated or have no willpower.
We talk to ourselves in ways that hopefully we’d never allow others to use.
I know that inner voice just wants to keep us safe.
The trouble is, it also keeps us small.
One of the problems when we try to make improvements in our lives whether it’s to lose weight, become more active or clean up our diet, is we think we can bully ourselves into submission.
We’ll be successful if only we try harder, do more, deprive ourselves.
How about living our lives with a healthy dose of self love instead?
We’re imperfect human beings. We’re going to slip up. But beating ourselves up about it not only doesn’t work, it’s likely to send us straight to our favourite comfort food.
There are a number of ways we can deal with that mean inner voice.
Kinder, gentler, more effective ways.
Some people suggest thanking it and then immediately replacing the words with something more supportive.
I’m really vigilant in listening for negative self talk and immediately changing it into something nurturing.
So instead of beating myself up for being too lazy if I’ve missed an exercise session, I go straight to some strategies to ensure that in the future I’m more easily able to overcome whatever obstacle or barrier that was in my way.
It’s acknowledging too that we all deserve self love, even if we’re not the weight we want to be, or have made choices with our eating or exercise that don’t serve us.
Let’s look at how to get started.
1. Be vigilant in noticing negative self talk.
Immediately replace it with something more positive. It often helps to have an alternative saying already written out & practiced already so that it flows naturally.
So ‘I never follow through on my goals’ becomes ‘It’s normal to slip up from time to time. I’ll make sure to wear my pedometer tomorrow to encourage me to get my steps up’.
2. Think about how you can love yourself more today.
Treat yourself as you would a treasured friend, or someone you love unconditionally. You deserve it!
In practice this can be as simple as sending yourself loving kindness mentally, almost like you would a tiny baby or a cute puppy.
Bask in that feeling.
It’s a little hard to stop smiling when you do that, isn’t it?
For a beautiful reminder to do this incorporated in a gorgeous manifesto, click here.
3. Act from that place of loving kindness.
In fact your actions might be exactly the same. You might put in a gruelling session at the gym for the sheer joy of raising a sweat and the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the session.
Your morning tea might be a healthy snack instead of the double chocolate chip muffin you were thinking about.
But it FEELS different.
Getting healthier IS ALLOWED to feel good!
Need some help in reframing & supporting yourself in creating those healthy habits?
I’d love to work with you in doing exactly that. Check out how you can work with me here.